I'd like to introduce you to the 3 P’s. You are in one of these 3 states at any given moment of your life. If you Google the 3 P’s you will see there are numerous versions of uses of that term. Well here goes another one. My version is about how you live your daily life, moment by moment.
I’ve been reading a lot on the topic and what good is it to read if you don’t take the information that you read and do something with it? This is actually one of the P’s so without further ado let me introduce you to them. The 3 P’s are processing, participating and projecting. At any moment of your life you are doing one of these three actions.
With all of my writing the goal is to help you become Better Today. So the next predictable action I will do is inform you how to use these 3 p’s to accomplish that goal. Before I do that let me define what each P means.
The first P is processing. When you are processing you are inside of your head thinking about something that happened and processing it in your head. In particular this processing is thinking about something that happened in the past that was not beneficial. There are times that you are processing something beneficial but this is not what this discussion is about. This about the past negatively effecting your present. This is about the time you spend mulling over decisions you’ve made that didn’t go your way. The what ifs and the why me. Sometimes you process so much you can bring yourself to tears. Processing is a clear path to depression if you do it too often.
The third P is projecting. Projecting is actually on the other spectrum of processing. When you are projecting you are inside your head thinking about something that you think will or could happen in the future. As with processing this is not when you are thinking about something you think will be beneficial in the future. Sometimes you will be projecting something beneficial in the future but this is not what this discussion is about. This is about a future projection negatively impacting your present life. This is about the time you spend worrying whether you will ever get out of debt. Worrying if you will always be sick. Worrying if you will always be lonely. Sometimes you will project so much you become fearful to do anything but sit and worry. Projecting is a clear path to apathy and inaction.
The P that sits right in between processing and projecting is participating. Participating is all about participating in the current moment. This is all about living in the now. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing you are fully engaged in it. You are not thinking about the past. You are not concerned about the future. Your focus is on what is happening to you right now. This is the sweet spot. This is where the magic happens. When you fully focus your attention on the moment you are in, your mind cannot process the past or project the future. Your mind can only participate in the present. By doing this you live fully in the moment, which means you live fully. Your life is not in the past. Your life is not in the future. Your life is and will forever only be in the moment.
This is the participation trophy every one of us needs to earn.
You obviously had to be participating to finish reading the above. Thank you for being present. However, we all know that at some point you will fall into processing or projecting. We also know that it won’t feel good and it also won’t do you any good. Feeling bad about the past serves no purpose just as worrying about the future serves no purpose. So what do you need to do to avoid being in one of those P’s?
The answer is nothing. There is nothing you can do. You are human. At some point you will be there and that is perfectly ok. What is not ok is to stay there. To prevent you from staying there I prescribe you develop some triggers to get you back to participating.
My daughter and I recently had this conversation. She explained to me that sometimes she found herself sitting too long processing or projecting. As her father and her coach I prescribed she get a trigger. I told her to put that trigger somewhere she would see it often. I told her to write in her journal what that trigger meant to her. I told her every time she saw the trigger she should be reminded of what it means. Lastly, I told her that when she found herself processing or projecting to use the trigger to bring her back to participating.
What trigger did I propose to her? I told her to use the trigger, fuck it. Fuck it has the meaning that the past is gone and the future is unknown. Therefore sitting and thinking about either negatively can do nothing for you. Whenever you are thinking about either you just need to say fuck it and bring yourself back into the present. Bring yourself back into participating in whatever is around you right now. If you start thinking about some things you should have done better in your past, fuck it. You can’t go back and change it so why dwell on it. If you start thinking about the fact that you don’t have any money and you are in debt, fuck it. You can’t get money or get out of debt thinking about it. The only way to change that is to take some action now.
Fuck it brings you back to the present moment. It is not meant for you to be nonchalant and accept mediocracy. It is meant for you to get out of your head and get back into your current life. Fuck it, I am living right now. What am I currently experiencing? What action can I take right now to improve my experience? Fuck it. I know I am fully capable of achieving the success that I desire. If I don’t belief that nothing else will matter. So fuck it, I believe I am enough.
Fuck it may not be the trigger that you land on. Personally my triggers are different. I have found the songs that I make to be great triggers. Each of the 6 Reminders I affectionately call Drew’s Reminders are their own unique trigger. My desire statement that I have a picture of on my phone and a personal web page of is its own trigger. I have a plethora of triggers. I need an arsenal of weapons to fight the battle of being Better Today. I am not ashamed of that in any way.
That arsenal is needed to conquer all the negativity that I have been exposed to over my life. I have no desire to put in a half ass solution. I am a gambler and I bet on myself. In order to bet on myself I must go all in. This is one of my favorite songs I've written.
I am sure you have some triggers that you are thinking about right now. However, are you aiming at the right target? This isn’t about feeling good. This is about bringing yourself back to the present moment. Stop processing the failures from the past. Stop projecting all the risk of the future. Pull the trigger and start participating in your present moment. That is your target and with the right trigger you can hit it every time. As always, I wish you the best and remind you to enjoy the journey.