I am angry and I am not ashamed. Anger is a necessary emotion. So why do people tell me that I shouldn’t get angry? They don’t know what they are talking about, do they? I am angry and supposed to be angry, right?
How many of you can relate to the conversation above? There is no doubt there are many. There are many people who get angry in this world. There are also many people telling you that you shouldn’t get angry. For the angry person the anger feels necessary. It feels almost rewarding. You believe whatever happened deserves your anger and you welcomingly accept that anger.
Yet the people that tell you that you should not get angered are partially right if they explain further. Unfortunately, most that give this advice don’t fully understand the correct explanation.
For anger to be effective it must be followed by action. This is why anger was created. Medical studies have shown that when you are angry you have a physical reaction. Link
Anger triggers the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. Other emotions that trigger this response include fear, excitement and anxiety. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.
So, based on this fact when you are angered your body is prepared to take action. Yet, how many people get angry and do nothing other than get angry? Does this help you understand why people tell you that you should not get angry? If you get angry and take no action you have put unnecessary stress on your body. Stress is not a desired state. Stress can kill. Stress does kill. It doesn’t kill the person you are angry at either. Stress kills you.
The correct advice is not to tell you not to get angry. The correct advice is to tell you to get angry and take action. After-all, your body is impacted by your anger and you have a duty to do something positive to counteract it. Getting angry and doing something reckless is not positive. So, don’t get angry and physically fight someone. Don’t get angry and punch your fist through a wall. Don’t get angry and give someone the finger and threaten their life. Don’t get angry and shutdown. All those reactions are not going to have a good outcome.
On the contrary, if you get angry and make up your mind to take a positive action you stand a great chance of winning. If someone does something to make you angry don’t lash out at them. Get angry and then get focused on preventing that something from happening again. If there is a situation to solve move from anger to problem solving so you can solve it. Because your mind is sharpened and focus you will be prepared to accomplish that task.
Whatever you get angry about use it as a signal. It is a signal of your need to protect yourself. To effectively protect yourself you must take action. If you do nothing you have become stressed with no positive action to counteract that stress. When you don’t counteract stress, it builds over time. That buildup will eventually kill you.
Yet if you take a positive action each time you are angered those positive actions will too build over time. Over time you will have take many positive actions that will garner many positive results. Those positive results ultimately minimize the opportunity for you to become angry. The next time you are angry consciously choose to take the positive action. Move from anger to an emotion that will positively benefit you. Move from anger to commitment to solving the root cause of the situation at hand. Move from anger and become passionate about changing your situation. Move from anger to determination to move to a better situation.
You are in control of the outcomes of your life. You have a right to be angry. That right is to use anger to protect you. Anger should only serve you and not harm you. Yet if you don’t follow that anger with a positive action, the anger will only do you harm. If that is the case, then you should not be getting angry. Why would you intentionally choose to harm yourself? You do that every time you get angry and then choose to do nothing about it. Well I take that back. By choosing to stew and sit in anger you are intentionally choosing to harm yourself.
What are your thoughts? You were just told that it is ok to get angry. You were also told that you shouldn’t get angry. Both answers are correct, and you have the power to choose. What choice will you make after processing this information? As always, I wish you the best and remind you to enjoy the journey.