I am Tired
I am tired.
Specifically, I am tired of sitting in the background and waiting on my opportunity. I am tired of flipping through (example: LinkedIn) to see what (example: jobs) are out there. I am tired of waiting for the right role to present itself so that I can apply. I am tired of working a job that I only chose because it was a good fit for my skills. I’m tired of being the Jack of all trades and master of none. I am tired of doing great things at work that help the short term but without strategic long-term impact. I am tired of working someone else’s vision more than I work on my own vision.
Now let’s get this straight, I may be tired but I am no victim. Everything that I want is not here because I have not taken the actions to make them appear. I have chosen the route that I am currently traveling.
I may have been influenced by the people around me but I ultimately made the choice. I made the choice to go to (example: college) and graduate with a degree in (example: physics). I made the choice to accept a (example: scholarship from the Army and spend 4 years on active duty as a Field Artillery Officer). I made the choice to accept every role I have had over my corporate career. I have made every choice and taken every action that has resulted in me being tired.
So now that I know that I’m tired and responsible, what next? Do I continue down the route that I’m currently on and play it safe? I’m doing pretty well and could easily continue until retirement.
Do I take an incredible risk and quit my job and start doing something that I want to do? That sounds great but it doesn’t sound very smart. Do I take some small actions that make me feel better now but won’t sustain my energy for the long term? That’s the easy thing to do but I don’t want to do easy.
In order for me to stop being tired here is what I plan to do. First, I plan to stop hiding. Take a look at (example: my profile). No one knows that I’m tired. I don’t want my employer to know that. I want my employer to think I love my job and will be with them forever. Funny thing is they can let me go whenever the wind blows in the wrong direction. As long as I’m performing and earning my pay, my level of tiredness doesn’t matter.
Am I a flight risk? Yes, of course I am but isn’t everyone? The optimist in me says if I continue to do great work my employer will see my value and help me gain the energy I need. This can come with a career change, different opportunities to use my strengths or introduction to a mentor who has gone through the same thing in their career. I am going to let the world know what I want to do so the world can assist me in finding a way to do it.
Second but really first, I will define what will give me energy. Being a Jack of all trades there are many things that give me energy. My responsibility is to narrow it down so that I can focus. The lack of focus has been a deterrent to my success over the years. This will be a deterrent no more.
This will take work. This will take commitment. This will take hard decisions because I will have to narrow my list and let something go. Yet I am ready. (examples: I love to solve problems. I love to create. I have begun to love writing. I love helping others. I love the energy from crowds. I love to see someone smile because of something I’ve done. I love music. I love logic. I love diversity.) I love so many things. Yet, it is time to focus. This is my duty.
Third, I will take action. Once I have defined what I am focused on and let the world know I want more of it, I will take action. I will take massive action. I must take action in the area I’ve decided to focus on as much as humanly possible. Yes, it will be a balance. I must take care of my obligations first. I must continue to excel at what I am doing today but I must find a way to incorporate in what I want to be doing tomorrow.
(examples: If I choose to focus on writing I must incorporate writing into my current world. Not only must I incorporate it, I must do it with excellence. This will give me energy. If I choose to focus on helping others I must incorporate helping others into my current world. If I choose to focus on experiencing the energy from crowds I must incorporate that experience into my current world.)
None of this will be easy but it must be done. This is my life and it is time to take control. It is time to stop taking the safe route and start taking the right route. It is time to do what is right for me. Wish me luck just as I would wish you the same. I am truly excited about this decision. My new journey starts today.
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